Toast Worthy

How to write a best man speech (step by step)

Written by the Toast Worthy speech team · Updated August 2026

The short answer

To write a best man speech: 1) jot down 3–4 real memories, 2) pick the one true story that captures them, 3) open with a hook, 4) add a kind tease or heartfelt line, 5) turn to the couple, 6) end on a toast. Keep it to 3–5 minutes and read it aloud three times.

Step-by-step

  1. 1Open with a hook — a one-line joke or a striking line, not 'for those who don't know me'
  2. 2Introduce who you are and how you know the groom
  3. 3One vivid, true story that captures who the groom really is
  4. 4A warm, gentle roast that the whole room (and his mum) can enjoy
  5. 5The turn: how he changed when he met his partner
  6. 6Genuine praise for the couple together
  7. 7A toast the room can raise a glass to

A finished example to model

Heartfelt example~4 min · 158 words

Standing up here, I keep thinking about how far Alex has come to arrive at this exact, perfect moment.

I'm Sam, Alex's brother, and I've had the front-row seat for most of the good stuff.

The first time I really understood who Alex was, we'd both been sent to our rooms, and Alex slid a note under my door that just said 'worth it'. Loyal to the cause, even at seven.

But underneath all of that, what I really want you to understand about Alex is this.

What strikes me most about Alex and Jordan is how much more themselves they each became once they found each other.

And then Jordan came along. I've never seen Alex happier or more themselves — steadier, softer, quicker to laugh. Jordan, you are so obviously the one.

To Alex and Jordan — thank you for showing the rest of us what it looks like when two people get it right. Cheers.

Frequently asked questions

How far in advance should I write my best man speech?+

Give yourself two to three weeks: a few days to gather stories, a draft, then time to read it aloud and trim. Last-minute panic shows; a rehearsed speech feels effortless.

Should I write it word-for-word or use notes?+

Write it word-for-word so the phrasing is tight, then deliver from printed cards or a teleprompter. Reading full sentences beats improvising once nerves hit.

How do I make a best man speech personal?+

Lead with one specific, true story — a moment only you could tell. Specifics ("the upside-down map") beat adjectives ("he's a great guy") every time.

Write your best man speech in minutes

Answer a few questions about the couple and your memories. Read a full draft free; unlock the finished, personalised version for $29.

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